Witty Bumper Stickers and Slogans

I have mixed emotions concerning bumper stickers. I hate them on my vehicle for the simple fact that I think they tend to make a car look a little bit on the trashy side. On the love side of this relationship, I could spend all day reading the stupid things. It is like they have some kind of mind control over me. I can’t even walk by a car without reading every little, sticky thing the owner has unashamedly plastered all over it. And, for heaven’s sake, please don’t let me see a display of them in the mall. I will stand for hours, absolutely mesmerized by their power.

I found a bit of interesting information about the mind controlling, abhorring little pieces of paper and knew you would find it fascinating as well. You probably have a few bumper slogans going through your mind right now, and I will share a few of my favorites with you. First I will share “the rest of the story”.

Did you know that the first bumper stickers weren’t even stickers? They were attached to the vehicle with wire or string and resembled something more like a license plate.

The founding father of the modern-day bumper sticker was Forest P. Gill. Gill found himself unemployed after the vinyl company he worked for went out of business. The company manufactured canvas items such as seat and tire covers.

With the Great Depression setting heavy on the hearts and minds of everyone in the nation, Gill found himself at a crossroads in his life. Starting a business should have been the furthest thing from anyone’s mind yet Forest Gill set forth with a determination surpassing even his own understanding. In 1934, Forest turned his basement into a printing business.

Of the products Gill produced, one was the infamous bumper sticker. He started out printing the stickers on canvas. The material proved to be a better option because of its sturdy and rugged nature. The stickers were kept in place by using a water-activated gum paper. While they looked better than their forerunners, their life span was rather short due to the elements.

The bumper sticker would undergo a facelift in 1946. The Switzer Brother’s Inc. out of Cleveland, Ohio, created a new type of ink and dye. They had a bright, glowing appearance, even during the day, giving it the name DayGlo. Many advertisers became interested in this new type of ink because of it’s visibility.

Around the same time, there was another invention that would change bumper stickers forever. Commercial printers were able to us a sticky-backed paper. This allowed your slogan or logo to be applied to a clean, dry surface by peeling the back off of the printed paper.

Millions of bumper stickers have been sold over the years. Anything from advertising your pledge to your country, your favorite gas station, your faith or your smart a$$ attitude. Over the years there have been millions of bumper stickers sold. The only thing that has changed is the method. While we still have the old faithful, sticky bumper “wallpaper”, we now have vinyl clings for those of us who do not want to desecrate our chrome.

So sit back, grab a cup of joe from your favorite coffee shop that you have seen advertised on the back of someone’s car and enjoy some of the best bumper sticker slogans that I have encountered. The pictures in this article I have retrieved from different sites while doing research for this piece, as well as some of the slogans, while some I have retrieved from the resources of my memory. Go ahead and enjoy the world of bumper stickers.

• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
• Constipated people don't give a crap
• God must love stupid people, he made so many.
• Harry is a Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned
• If only I were as good as my dog thinks I am...
• Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they AREN'T after you.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• For you to get an idea, it would be a surgical process.
• When all else fails lower your standards.
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

• A fool and his money are soon partying.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A man with worms is never alone.
• If at first you don’t succeed, quit. There is no use making a fool out of yourself.
• Alcohol and Calculus Don't Mix. Don't Drink and Derive!
• All men are animals, some just make better pets.
• All men are idiots, and I married their King.
• Happiness is your ex’s face on a milk carton.
• Mixed emotions is defined as seeing your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Cadillac.
• Your not drunk if you can lay on the floor with out hanging on

• Don't be sexist. Broads hate that!
• Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive anyway
• Don't piss me off... I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• I am not laughing with you... I am laughing at you
• I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
• Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest dude in the valley.

• Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.

Thank you for visiting samboiam. I am Sam, and I am honored you have taken time to read "Witty Bumper Stickers And Slogans”. Take a few moments to rate this hub and share it with a friend. And if you’d like, let me know which bumper sticker slogan you enjoyed the most or tell me what bumper sticker is on the back of your car. Thanks again for stopping by and have a great day.