Stop Violence Against Women

His punishing fists bring crushing blows

Splitting my flesh, mutilating my soul.

The gale winds of fury knock me to the floor.

Nothing new - he‘s done this before.

Tenderly caressing me his hands should be.

Not instruments of pain and agony.

Oh God! Hear my distressing cry.

Through decimated lips and swollen eyes

A once white blouse now crimson red

My languid body on the bed.

The love of his life I am supposed to be

How can he do such things to me?

Like a predator standing over his prey

Violating me again before walking away

Before you my story unfurled

A horrifying glimpse into my world.

Too much at stake to remain in silence.

I am a victim of domestic violence.

© April 2010 Sam Bristow

Violence against women is a topic most people avoid talking about. Many would just as soon pretend that this act does not occur. Sticking our heads in the sand and pretending that it does not exist does not make it go away. We will eventually have to pull our head out of the ground and wipe the sand from our eyes. Unfortunately, when this happens, the grotesque face of domestic violence will be staring back at us.

According to the National Crime Victimization survey there were 232,960 women sexually abused or assaulted in 2006. If you break that down it means there is a woman being sexually abused or assaulted every two minutes. However, crimes against women are often not even reported due to feelings of embarrassment or the belief nothing can or will be done. According to the FBI only 37 percent of all rapes are reported, making statistics much higher than what the numbers show. Women between the ages of 20 and 24 are generally at a greater risk of non-fatal domestic violence. At the same time it is women who are under the age of 24 who are also more likely to be victims of rape. Think of six women you know, are related to or work with. One of them has probably experienced a rape, or at the very least had an attempted rape within their lifetime. Of the one out of every six women, 54 percent were 17 or younger when they were first violated.

Victims of sexual violence exhibit a variety of psychological symptoms that are similar to those who have been victims of other types of trauma, such as war and natural disaster (National Research Council 1996). A number of long-lasting symptoms and illnesses have been associated with sexual victimization including chronic pelvic pain; premenstrual syndrome; gastrointestinal disorders; and a variety of chronic pain disorders, including headache, back pain, and facial pain (Koss 1992).

Witnessing violent acts between one’s parents or caretakers is the strongest risk factor of transmitting violent behavior from one generation to the next. Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults. Statistics show that anywhere from 30-60% of those who inflict violence upon an intimate partner, will also abuse children that are in the household.

Police records indicate that almost one-third of female homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner. Regardless of which partner was killed, the male or female, 70-80% of those intimate partner homicides show that the man physically abused the woman before the murder occurred.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, please seek help. No matter what has been drilled into your head, it is not your fault. You are the victim of the violence, not the cause. You do not have to face this alone, there is help available and there are many who care. The links below will guide you to shelters, assistance and counseling programs that will empower you to take a stand against domestic violence in your life and the lives of your children and loved ones.

National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1−800−799−SAFE